Is it Possible to Truly Love Yourself?
Have you ever wondered what it truly means to love yourself? How many times have you heard that self-love is essential, but struggled to understand how to achieve that? The journey of learning to truly love yourself goes beyond surface-level acceptance and extends into the depths of your being..
Having been someone who always compared myself to others, learning to love myself in any authentic way, seemed like a daunting task. I first followed the route of learning to accept things in myself, and came to understand why the quirks in me are as they are. I had good explanations for why I wanted to be invisible for much of the time, and excellent reasons for learning to overcome that. But convincing myself that I was ‘worthy’ of being visible and taking up space in the world, was a long work in progress and the success in those endeavours, always temporary!
This is a short exploration into the discovery of a space within yourself—a space devoid of judgment, debate, and the need for external validation. We will touch into the profound truth that applies not only to yourself but also to others, and how life unfolds as a flow of happenings and interactions. This moves beyond traditional concepts of love and into a space of truth to discover the purest form of self-love.
The Space of Truth Within
Within each of us exists a space where truth becomes undeniable—a space that transcends the judgments and criticisms we often impose upon ourselves. It is a place where everything simply is as it is, without the need for explanation or justification. In this truth-holding space, you come face-to-face with the deep and profound experience of your true self. It is a space devoid of the ever-changing narratives of your personality and flaws, one where you are perfect just as you are.
My first moment of truly seeing this in myself was a moment I would call an awakening. Not one of bright light around me or in me – as I’d somehow expected awakening to be! But one so simple in its realisation of the flow of life through us as spiritual beings, here in human form. And in seeing this so profoundly, there is nothing for me to question or justify, and even more to the point the experience was one of instantaneously falling in love with who I am. Not arrogantly, but simply and beautifully.
Life as a Flow of Happenings and Interactions
As you navigate through life, people come and go, each bringing their unique presence into your world. In this truth space, you perceive others and yourself not as personalities with imperfections, but in a deeper, purer sense. There is a knowing—an undoubtable awareness of self and other that transcends personal preferences and judgments. It is a recognition that we are all interconnected, sharing experiences and growth in this beautiful journey called life.
The growth we assume arrives through others usually relates to us understanding ourselves in a way that enables us to respond more intentionally and meaningfully. This in itself is excellent growth. However, it is development in one’s personality, in one’s human self. And we are that too, of course.
But when you begin to look for spiritual growth, the task becomes one of learning to remain well seated in your true, deeper self. Rather than learning to respond in a different way, you’ll remain in truth – that unjudging and unquestionable place – and your response will rise from within your Self. This is spiritual growth – learning to remain in this space, so that your true essence forms what happens next.
Beyond Traditional Concepts of Love
The love we typically experience is often based on personal preferences and conditional acceptance. We aim for acceptance and coexistence despite our differences. While this is valuable and meaningful in its own right, it falls short within the deeper truth of who we are. In the space of truth, the need for conditional love disappears. We are encouraged to explore the depths of our being, not for the purpose of learning to love ourselves, but to realize that the love we seek has been within us all along.
To Know Yourself is to Love Yourself
In this space of truth, a profound and timeless love for oneself and others, unfolds. It is a love that goes beyond fleeting moments and temporary experiences. At times, life’s distractions may lead us astray, causing us to momentarily forget this depth. Yet, within us, there is an unshakable knowing that this is the essence of who we truly are. It cannot disappear; it is constant and unchanging. As we navigate through the ebb and flow of life, we will always return to this deep wellspring of love.
From Understanding to True Experience
The journey to loving yourself in the truest sense goes beyond intellectual understanding or spiritual beliefs alone. It requires experiencing yourself as love—a firsthand encounter with the truth of who you are. Pondering the meaning of self-love will only take you so far. True self-love is found beyond acceptance and embrace, even in moments of discontent or self-criticism. It is an experiential knowing that becomes an integral part of your being—an unforgettable truth that permeates every aspect of your being and your life.
A Personal Journey of Self-Knowing
Throughout my own journey, I have experienced moments of profound self-realization. There were instances where I felt myself as pure love, bliss, and joy. Yet, when viewed from the perspective of my simply human person, I recognized that there were moments when my attitudes and behaviors were obviously not founded in love. However, I came to understand that these levels of experience come and go – unlike the deeper knowing of who I truly am—a knowing that remains ever-sustainable.
Transformation Lies in Self-Discovery
Learning to truly love yourself is a transformative process—a journey of self-discovery and self-realization. It is an invitation to explore the depths of your being, to unveil the truth that lies within. As a seeker of truth and spiritual awakening, you possess a unique inclination towards self-exploration. Embrace this opportunity to know yourself deeply, to experience the profound love that resides at your core. By delving into this space of truth, you will unlock the transformative power of self-knowing and embark on a journey towards a more authentic, fulfilling life.
Boundless Love, Joy and Authenticity
The path to learning how to truly love yourself is a profound and rewarding one. It transcends societal expectations and conditional forms of love, guiding you towards a space of truth within. In this space, you will discover an unwavering love that emanates from the depths of your being—a love that extends to yourself and to all those around you. Embrace the journey of self-exploration and self-realization, and let the transformative power of self-knowing lead you to a life filled with boundless love, joy, and authenticity.
A Gentle Path to Truly Loving Yourself
Phase One: Being Present
We spend so much time caught up outside of ourselves. How can you love yourself if you’re seldom present enough within yourself, to get to know who you truly are?
Learning to be more present in yourself is the first step.
Phase Two: Overcoming Shadows
Shadows are the beliefs and patterns of thinking and feeling that hide from you, who you truly are. We all have these and learning to rise above and beyond them will reveal more of your true self to you.
Learn to rise above the repeating cycles of thinking and belief that hide your true self from you.
Phase Three: Being Your Natural Self
This sounds so easy, and we glibly say we already are just who we are. Most of the time, however, we are living from a conditioned self. As you overcome those internal shadows, you’ll discover the wonderful and amazing being you are, radiating natural qualities that shine uniquely through you.
Learn to abide in your natural self and you’ll fall in love with your own unique radiance.
Phase Four: Being In Flow
As you realise more of who you truly are, life begins to flow smoothly through you. You’ll naturally ride the waves of challenge and opportunity, living the Life that is truly meant for you. What could there not be to love about that?!
Learn to ride the waves of Life that flow through you and you’ll be in love with every moment, no matter what it brings.